January 7, 2015
January 7th is the day they gave us. As you can imagine, Daddy and I held onto this date with so much joy and excitement in our hearts, but, call it mothers intuition or just lucky coincidence, I knew you would be here early: even though I wasn't remotely certain as to how. You've been here with us for 18 days already and I could never adequately put into words just how special you are to us. But let me tell you what I've learned from being your mommy in this short amount of time: I've learned that sleepless nights can also bring more joy than any other night before it. I've learned it's possible to find myself in the crook of your neck, in the way your mouth pulls up to one side when you smile, in the furrow on your brow which you keep on your face in the most inquisitive manner as you examine the world around you, in your small and perfect chin that your Daddy so proudly proclaims is mine. I've learned that God created breastfeeding to soothe a mommies heart at the loss of holding her baby in her womb; and that this form of closeness is new, special, and equally as important and intimate as carrying you. I've learned that a heart can expand infinitely to fit the weight of my love for you, and that even this grows each and every day. I've learned just how much others love us simply by watching how much they love you. I've learned to trust my instincts and my abilities to care for you and help you grow, and I've grown confidence in my abilities to do these things with every passing day. I've learned to slow down and see each and every moment exactly as it comes, and to appreciate each minute more fully. I've learned that your Daddy has the most beautiful way of loving you and taking care of you, and seeing your love for him in return only makes me love the both of you more. I've learned that it truly does take a village to raise a child, but it's okay if that village is small: it's sacred. I've learned so much about you, about myself, about your wonderful and loving Daddy, and, most of all, about God's abundant love for all of us. You are such a blessing to us, Bubba. January 7th is the day they gave us, but you were ready to meet us long before. And, while we didn't know it at the time, our hearts were so ready for you. Thank you for being our beautiful baby blessing. It is an honor being your mommy.